MY CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES
My experiences started when i was very young. It was normal and habitual, at nights before sleep, i would breathe and feel my whole body expanding and contracting. This was described in the previous page Body and Breathing Awareness.
There was nothing mystical about it and i'd read nothing, i was very naive, i never learned basic biology, i didn't even realise we had lungs till i was 17 or 18.
The feeling of expansion and contraction would regularly lead to a loss of spacial sense, i would feel as big as the room or very very small, often as well, with a floating feeling. In addition the sensation was as though i was breathing in and out through my skin, rather than my nose. This was happening from at least age 10 or 11.
It was in the 1960s, so when i was 18 - 19 i found Taoism and then Buddhism with their breathing exercises, and i immediately felt the connection and started doing the exercises. Unfortunately then i started to lose the completion of the original feeling, and i started developing only mind and tactile sense ... and forgot the other 4 senses ...
The 4 forgotten senses. I did some visualisation exercises, and experienced silence and 'listened' for some spiritual soul speaking inside me. But now i am talking about the actual sounds, smells and tastes inside our bodies.
My biggest detour was counting my breaths 1 to 10, which i now recognise as totally useless except as a concentration exercise. All the sidetracks, the clever things 'honourable teachers' were suggesting, with so many fascinating astral worlds and chakras and hidden secrets to read about and experiment with; all of them so much more bright and attractive than those naive childhood experiences ... but really ... my original experience pre-18 was far more pure and real, simple and beautiful than almost anything i've learnt since.
I started remembering and reconnecting with these childhood experiences again about 12 years ago, ... by observing animals.
My childhood experiences were so normal, habitual and enjoyable that i never even started questioning them, but now i know it was not just as a result of the breathing and the inner sense of touch, - i was also subliminally aware with a sense of tasting, smelling, listening and visualisation inside my own body. I know this because i can recreate a similar feeling by using all these senses.
Over the years i've spoken with a number of teenagers, who lie on their backs and experience a similar sort of peace and completion, ... it's a 'just being' ... – and it seems to stop when 'real' life begins, with the multiplicity of wants, sex, work, learning, and being an adult.
So i believe that many younger (healthy, loved), children would naively experience something like this,
Contact is welcome with anyone, but particularly anyone who else who remembers, or still has, such experiences.
Please continue with How to Doze